Being a Woman (in 'the Gilded Age of Soap Operas')

It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet,
I'm a woman
Phenomenally

                        - Maya Angelou



 I have always, always loved the idea of being a flaneur. The dictionary definition ascribes the pleasure 'to just to walk around, stare at people and places without any particular intention' only to a man!
Lexicographers ! Better make corrections! Times are changing.

Each woman would have her own definitions of being a woman, a space where they are comfortable in. It is these multiple  shades that make up 'womanhood'. She maybe a fighter pilot or a homemaker. She maybe a factory worker or a journalist. She maybe a neurosurgeon or a bar-dancer. She maybe an aspiring writer. She may be an angry young woman.

We ( women) have been at the center of many discussions, debates, protests and wars (I admire Cleopatra for that).  We have been written about, talked about, praised, pitied and insulted.

We have seen plenty of woman-centered movies, documentaries, advertisements that go against the conventional grain and many, many strong women!

 But are these impacting all the classes of the society alike? How many women get to see these? How many of them understand it? How many of them are even interested in it? Debating and talking about these issues within a group that more or less understands these things aren't enough. Let's get on to the ground and unveil portions of reality.

Every woman out there would have stories of her own.  Sad ones as well as happy ones. It's important to try and listen to them.

Talking to the maid who cooks for us, I realised how cemented her notions of being a woman are. In her 60 s, she is desperate to earn money because of a  husband-a drunkard and a son-in law- who beats up his wife, spends all her money drinking and is jobless. Her age old 'morals' of being a 'respectful' wife or a mother have allowed the men in her life to behave so. I tried teaching her some elementary Simon de Beauvoir and Millet . I was surprised that she, who has attended school only till class 2, could comprehend these life altering theories! I spotted a spark in her eyes.
 Apart from all these sorrows, she is a happy and a spirited woman. She confessed that she sometimes joins her husband when he drinks! She is a good cook and a hardworking woman. She sings and loves to dance. She is crazy about chewing pan.

Coming to her other interests, her favourite T.V programmes include prime time soap operas.
( If I'm stranded on an island with nothing  but the TV that premiers only soap operas, I would either push the television into the waters or throw myself into it.
I hate the sound, mood and the people in it!)

Why is it so popular then? Why do women look forward to it with the deepest hopes, prayers and aspiration?

• The desperateness of the paralyzed lady deceived by her alcoholic and womanizer husband
• Revengeful, the excessively lipstick coated ( the cosmetic industry would forever flourish as long as these shows are kept alive) evil woman who plots a murderous ending to her aspiring lover's wife.
•  The sacrificing, ever-hopeful mother.
• The innocent, cute little child who becomes a bait-                        

Found it taxing to read those? 
Well, that's exactly what I feel when I see them onscreen! 

Soap Operas-The certified emotional appetizer for a large chunk of women in Kerala who find spiritual solace in them.

In this age of petitions why isn't anyone thinking of these fatal SOs? Who can deny that soap operas are not disastrous ? But then, the defenders of SOs would come up with discourses on censorship , followed by heated discussions and debates, and finally make the declaration that, " Nothing that would seriously offend  or add injury to  the emotional appetite of women ( do men also watch it? If any, let's happily include them as well!) shall be taken off the shelf! We 'respect' our  Mothers! "...I give up. Sigh!

The world would never change unless its women do. Women could bring not just winds of change, but torrents of it! We bring up the next generation of people.

As women, let's listen to each other's stories and inspire other women.

                         If given  another chance to choose my gender, I would opt for the same. But rather ask for a better world!. 
A place where the mother doesn't keep the larger piece of fish aside for her son...where the mother teaches her son the elementary lessons on Beauvoir or Millet. 
A world where women do not wallow in self pity or sorrow.
 ...where she rises from the ashes like a pheonix.
 ...where she nurtures and brings up sensitive human beings.
(A world where women (even if heavily lipstick coated, I don't mind!) push 'those' TV sets into the ocean )
 And be the flaneurs that we always love to be!

                                               Happy Women's Day!
                         ( this post comes a bit too late, but I believe every day is one!)